sadly envy me

Once again i'm not follow the graduation day. This the second time, when i'm really willing it and i just can't make it happen. Well this time absolutely not my fault, or do i? But for sure i envy with everybody that graduate at the graduation day. Arrgghhhhh when will i can make it happen? One by one problem just coming trough me. Is it all the problem happened because of my own fault? is it my stupidity? Is it my lack of ambition? Is it because i can't make a decision for my main priority?

What should i do? Once i heard, that what happen, how i am right now, it's because what my parents do to me in the past. Overprotected and so on. Yes, it could be happen. But what should i do to break all the past? I know Jesus Christ is the answer. But is there anything i can do to help Him?

In the middle of my confusedness, i am sad, sad that i have to envy with others whose graduate this month :'(