Finding my 'happy pure me'

Finally... truly finally after so long time (didn't check on when did the last posting) i can barely write down something...

Couple.. or maybe many months after my graduate (YAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!) my spiritual life turn to be a lil disaster.... it become really unscheduled. I miss so many time of my own pray time, i lost passion to worship Him... and it's really made me feel awful with myself. I never imagine even think that this could happen. And it is hard to stand up again.

A couple days ago, my eyes really swollen coz i cry so hard until i feel that time i could pass out for cried so hard yet not loud. My heart feel could stop that time.

I really don't know what to do. When people saw me that i'm okay, than they didn't know me better. Well no one know me better than my God. For i'm not let them to know me like that.

Maybe... it is only the matter of time for me to become opened person for others whose near me....

But one thing for sure.... no matter what... I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!! to find again the 'Happy Pure Me'

HWAITING