Happy thinking any possiblity...

Have you ever think any possibility you pass the chance to meet your soul mate?

This question arise in my mind a few minute may hours ago. Try to think about it made me a lil bit scare. What i mean here is, through my entire whole life, i always hear, also myself, said "If he/she is your soul mate, than no matter what and wherever you are, you'll meet him/her." It's not that i don't have any faith left for this love matter. It just, my faith is truly shaking. I'm in the middle of the road right now. There's two roads in front of me (facing the same dilemma again) that like it or not i have choose one of them.

It's been a lil long time too me to stuck in the middle. Too tiring. It feels like searching a needle in a barn full of hay. It's not easy nowaday to search the right person. It's not i'm doubting my great God. But really, my faith is shaking right now.

Through the wilderness of this world, it needs a lot and big guts to keep forward. Swim through the stream without get hurt. This world turn into it's end. So the people start to forget how is the true love is. True love without any sex at the beginning no matter how passion we are with our boyfriend or girlfriend. Pure because of love, like the love that Jesus Christ shown on the cross thousand years ago.

I'm in my pessimistic point right now. The optimistic though about my love life seems to fade away. It's hard for me to believe that there's men love his/her bf/gf pure because of love.

Speaking of love, i'm afraid with it. Honestly. In my mind full with possibility of getting hurt again. Am i have to surrender with this kind mind and situation?? Nobody knows, even i don't know. Trying to learn again and enjoy the process burn me out. Plus i still struggle with my habits in getting sleep late. Don't know since when i have this sleep problem. But as far as i can see, not just me facing this kind of problem. Almost all of my friend also faced the same problem. Is it because the web wide world (is my spelling right?).

Too many possibility that arise again right now. While i know, not just my life, but everyone life is still a mystery that need the right time to release.

Every thing has it's own time. There's a time to cry, there's time to laugh.....

The problem is : "Are you able to keep your integrity in this life?"